The Prayer That Is Always in God's Will
Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (which means “son of Timaeus”), was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”
Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”
Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.”
So they called to the blind man, “Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.” Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus.
“What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him.
The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.”
“Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.
Mark 10:46-52 (NIV)
In my most recent meeting with my spiritual director, Les, he was asking me what area in my life I am the most keen to see growth in, spiritually. More specifically, he wanted me to talk about what I would change, if I could.
“I need more silence,” I told him. “Not just quieter times, but chunks of time in my life that are set aside specifically for me to be silent, in silent settings.”
“Have you ever taken a silent retreat?” he asked. I already suspected he was going to go in this direction. It was something I had thought about on many occasions, but even though I've been on group retreats that had a silent component, and even though I had always been intrigued by the prospect, I’ve never actually followed through with taking a silent retreat.
We talked about this idea for a while, and he promised to send me some recommendations for retreat centers and monasteries within driving distance (he did so later that day, for the record). But I was not satisfied with this being the only solution.
“What bugs me,” I complained, “is that I really want to be able to enter into those times of silence and contemplation, not just when I can dedicate an entire day to it, but when I only have 15 minutes. I need quality time, sure, but I also need little tastes of it every day, throughout my day. My problem is that, if I only have a few minutes, and I try to go there on the inside of myself, try to enter into a space of contemplation, I sometimes can't get my mind and my body to slow down enough to make any headway before my time runs out. It drives me crazy.”
Les paused for a moment, indicating with his body language that he heard me and was pondering my dilemma.
“Are you familiar with the Jesus prayer?” he asked.
“Is that a book?” I asked, just because I vaguely recalled seeing a book with that same title many years ago.
“Maybe,” Les continued, “but the Jesus prayer I'm talking about is an ancient, Christian practice that revolves around a short, but powerful prayer: ‘Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.’1
“Sit up in your chair,” he continued, “and let your shoulders drop. Relax your hands in your lap, and close your eyes.”
I did all of these things. Did I mention we were meeting in Starbucks? Because we were. Sometimes you just gotta live in the moment.
“Now,” Les said, deliberately, “breathe in slowly and deeply through your nose, and as you inhale, pray inwardly, “Lord Jesus Christ…”
I breathed in, smelling the lovely aroma of coffee and chocolate and hazelnut, hearing the low buzz of conversation under the sudden noise of one of the baristas steaming milk.
Lord Jesus Christ, I prayed in my mind.
“Now breathe out through your mouth slowly,” instructed Les, “and this time, pray, ‘Have mercy on me.’”
I breathed out slowly through pursed lips, trying not to be self-conscious of the coffee breath I was blowing in the direction of Les’s face, sitting across the table, just a few feet away from me.
Have mercy on me, I prayed on the inside, finishing the prayer.
“Start doing this for 10 minutes a day,” Les continued, “some place where you won’t be disturbed. You can sit or stand, even walk slowly, if that helps. The important thing is that you do it every day, if possible. When we meet next month, we can talk about how it went. If it works for you, we can discuss some variations and different techniques for praying the Jesus prayer.”
It took a few days before I finally buckled down and began trying to make a practice of it. So far, on the overwhelming majority of my days since then, I've spent 10 or 15 consecutive minutes doing my best to be still, take breaths, and pray this prayer. For the first week or so, I was ambivalent toward the whole process. Then, for the next few days, I started to notice a change in my body, in my baseline stress level, and I started to think, Okay, this is nice.
Then the Jesus prayer started invading the small spaces of my life, the in-between, idle moments in my days. Without thinking or choosing to, I found myself breathing in deeply and deliberately, praying this prayer.
Standing in the kitchen, cooking eggs for my family’s breakfast in the morning…
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me…
Waiting next to the gas pump while I fueled my car…
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me…
During the lull between tasks during my work day…
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me…
It started happening during longer stretches as well, like going for my morning and evening walks, attending an all company meeting while someone is talking about a concept or project way over my head, or laying in bed during the time between when I turn off the light and when I drift off to sleep.
It can feel it changing me–mentally, emotionally, and physically.
What am I actually praying, though? This is the question I asked myself a couple of weeks into the process. I know who I'm praying to, but what am I asking for?
The passage from Mark that I quoted above, the one about the blind man, helps us gain some vital understanding about what mercy actually is, and why we should be asking for it continually.
In this story, Jesus has just finished visiting the city of Jericho, and he and his followers are now leaving town. Bartimaeus is a blind beggar on the side of the road that Jesus would very likely have passed by, but Bartimaeus begins to shout over the noise of the crowd, pleading for mercy from Jesus. The people around Bartimaeus try to get him to be quiet, but he keeps screaming, louder and louder, begging for Jesus to have mercy on him. Finally, Jesus stops walking and tells the crowd to call to Bartimaeus.
Here are some things we can learn about God at this point in the story:
God does not grant mercy to everyone in His vicinity.
God sometimes does not respond to our initial cries for mercy.
God expects us to be tenacious in our prayers and petitions to Him, even to the point of being annoying or seemingly excessive.2
God may decide to grant mercy to those who do not understand who He truly is.3
God grants mercy to whomever He wishes, regardless of whether or not others deem that person worthwhile.
God may use the people around us (even the same people who have been discouraging us) to draw us to a place where we can receive the mercy for which we were asking.
Are you uncomfortable with this list of truths about God? I’ll admit they make me uncomfortable, even defensive. My flesh starts thinking that’s not fair or why don’t you just give me what I want, Lord. I get tired of praying the same prayers, over and over. I get discouraged when I think about prayers that were never answered, prayers that I prayed for years or even decades, but with no answer at all.
Lord Jesus, let me pause here for a moment and say that I really need to hear the truths in the story of blind Bartimaeus. I need to be reminded of the truth of your word, the truth about you, in this tiny story about a blind man. Thank you for your word. I affirm your ultimate and ceaseless goodness, not only in my life, but in the lives of everyone who has or ever will live. I affirm your goodness in this world and the universe you created. No matter what happens or how I feel, you are truly, totally, and completely good.
Now, let’s take a look at what we can learn from the encounter between the Son of God and the son of honor.4
God speaks to us when we cannot see him, as long as we are willing to cast aside our dignity and move closer to Him.
God’s response to our cry for mercy is to ask us what we want from Him.
In the moment of His asking of us, God gives us what we are asking for.
The purpose of our answered prayer is not to make us more comfortable or to “bless” us, but to grant us the strength and ability to do as Bartimaeus did. He “received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.”
And this is the purpose of the Jesus prayer, to admit to ourselves and to God, “I have no strength to follow You or walk in Your footsteps. On my own, I am blind, helpless, and destitute. All I have is my desire to see You, to walk with You. Don’t pass me by! Have mercy, Lord. Have mercy.”
And so I will go on praying, “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me,” because Jesus told me in the gospels, “go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice,’”5 because I need His constant outpouring of mercy on my life, because I know that “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me” is the prayer that is always in God’s will.
What mercy do you need from God right now?
What mercy did you once pray for, but have since given up on?
What might it look like for you to give that prayer another try?
Another variation is, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” If you’d like to learn more about the Jesus prayer, visit orthodoxprayer.org.
e.g., Luke 18:1-8, in which “Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.” (NIV)
In this instance, Bartimaeus calls Jesus the son of David. Later, in all three synoptic gospels, Jesus confounds the Pharisees and teachers of the law by asking them how the Messiah could be David’s son. (e.g., Matthew 22:41–46)
The name Bartimaeus literally means “son of Timaeus,” and Timaeus means “honor,” or “honored one.”
Matthew 9:13 (NIV)